Once again
by Cj Quinn
Summary: Was watching Harry potter and noticed Draco a lot. So I started to write snipits of how I thought he felt/saw things. Just a warning Draco is in love with Harry. Aka GAY! M/M! BOY/BOY! PENISES! THERE WILL BE BUTT SEX! If you have a problem with that don't read this. Rated M for later chapters. I hope you like it! Read and Review!
1. Year one

**A/N: Ok I had a simple blah version on here….. But I got a very nice review from** DZAuthor AKA DZMom** with some constructive criticism. SO! Now you have a version that is a little bit more in depth on how Draco feels about Harry… And why Draco does what he does.**

First Year

**One**

Draco noticed the boy as soon as he got off the train. How could he not! He had to the most amazing person Draco had ever seen.

With his fair skin, shiny black hair, a thin but well shaped mouth that smiled easily. And those eyes!

They were a brighter green at the edges and faded to a darker green toward his irises. Draco could gladly lose himself in those eyes.

He flushed a bit at his own thoughts, he could tell these were not normal thoughts, and that scared him a bit. What would his Father say?

But then the boy smiled up at a huge man, stopping Draco's heart for a moment.

Crabbe and Goyle both wondered what was wrong with Draco.

After all he looked nothing like himself! His usual smirk was gone; in its stead was a look of surprise and a blush.

Draco heard the huge man call the boy Harry and pulled himself out of his adoration.

Harry Potter.

That's who the amazing boy was. He was the boy who lived.

Draco had heard his Father talk about the boy who lived. A wizard so young, yet powerful enough to survive the Dark Lord.

Draco knew he had to talk to Harry.

But even before he knew who the boy was he felt that way. He couldn't help himself!

The whole boat ride across the lake he watched him. He couldn't stop watching him.

He was just so… Draco couldn't even find words.

**Two**

First he had to get Harry's attention. That wasn't too hard, He just spoke and everyone turned to look at him.

Then he decided to be decent and introduce Crabbe and Goyle. It only seemed fair; they were his friends after all.

Then he couldn't help it, he stepped closer to Harry, almost smiling as he introduced himself.

But his Father had taught him not too show too much of your true emotions to people, so he held back on the smiling.

The dirty boy standing next to Harry snorted as Draco told Harry his name.

His Father hated the Weasleys. And there for so did Draco so he snapped back a snide comment that made the ginger look down in shame.

Draco then turned back to Harry and told him what his Father had told him, time and time again.

"Some wizarding families are better than others. The Weasleys are almost the lowest."

Draco didn't quote his Father but he did say basically the same thing, because he had taught Draco it was true.

Draco held out his hand to Harry with the friendliest smile he had. Which admittedly was more of a smirk than a smile.

But Draco had never really learned how to smile.

Harry looked at the offered hand for a moment then met Draco's grey eyes, "I think I can sort out the wrong sort for myself thanks."

Draco's smile fell. That had hurt.

What had he done wrong? He glared after Harry.

_Obviously I'm not good enough for the great Harry Potter!_

He watched Harry. He would try to understand him.

But for now? He would get his attention any way possible.

**Three**

The sorting hat didn't even touch his head before it yelled Slytherin and Draco smiled. That had been what he and his Father were hoping for!

But then Harry was under the hat. Draco sat very still, hoping and pray that Harry would be put in Slytherin.

But Harry didn't want to be in Slytherin. Draco caught himself frowning.

He had to bit his tongue when Harry was placed in Gryffindor, to keep from showing how mad he was.

All he wanted was for Harry smile at him. But so far…. Not even a smirk.

Harry smiled at almost everyone else, just not Draco.

**Four**

"Up!" The broom rose to Draco's open hand instantly and he closed his fingers around it. He looked up to see Harry holding his broom too.

_Well then…._

Draco wondered if Harry had ever ridden a broom. He didn't think so. And judging by the look on the young wizard's face he was probably right.

He watched Harry's face as Madame Hooch instructed the class. Harry looked excited and very intent.

Draco almost didn't notice when Longbottom lifted off the ground except that Harry looked surprised.

He watched as the chubby shrieking boys was tossed about by the broom stick and fell sorry for him as Madame Hooch said he had a broken wrist.

When Draco saw the Remembrall on the ground he had an idea. He could help Harry learn to ride a broom and show off a bit at the same time.

Of course…. It didn't work.

And he looked like the mean kid. Again.

At least Harry became 'the youngest seeker in a century'.

If not for Draco's prompting that wouldn't have happened….

Right?

**Five**

Harry's first Quidditch game….

Draco couldn't help grinning at how comfortable Harry looked on his new broom. He really didn't care if Slytherin won.

In fact he was really rooting for Harry to win.

When Harry's broom was jinxed he got more than a little worried. Harry could die if he fell!

Of course he didn't.

He caught the snitch and won the game.

Draco pretended his relief and joy over the win was shame and disappointment over Slytherin's loss.

But it was too hard not to smile, so he covered his face with his hands and smiled into them.

**Six**

Draco followed the trio outside into the dark. He wished he was the one Harry broke the rules with.

He was peeking in the window of the half-giant-grounds-keeper's house and saw something very odd. He was interested in what was happening on the table.

After all he'd never seen a dragon hatching before.

When Harry spotted him the only thing he could think to do was run.

Once safely away from those green eyes, he thought he ought to tell professor McGonagall what the students were up to.

But McGonagall scolded them and Draco for being out of bed. She gave them detention and took the newly hatched dragon away from the ground keeper.

Once again, Draco was the bad guy.

Was he never going to catch a break?

No of course not.

The detention sentence was to go into the Forbidden Forest….

Draco was afraid of the dark.

Not that he was going to tell Harry that.

But in truth, there was no one he would rather be walking through the Forbidden Forest with. Even if it had been intended as a punishment, Draco was almost enjoying this walk with Harry.

Even if Harry wouldn't look at him.

It was bad enough that he was scared of the dark, but seeing something drinking the blood of a unicorn right there in front of him?

He couldn't help but run in fear. He thought Harry was right behind him. But when he ran into the others he realized that Harry hadn't run.

He felt sick as he followed the others as they ran to help Harry. He'd left Harry there with that thing! What was wrong with him?!

The thing had killed a unicorn…. Who's to say what it would do to an 11 year old boy?!

But as usual Harry was fine and Draco looked bad. He was really starting to hate making choices. It seemed he never made the right ones anymore.

**A/N: Alright…. This is going to be very….. Well it will be PG until they are older of course.**

**But I still want to know what my beautiful reader's think of this! So review! Please! If there is a mistake PLEASE tell me!**Harry


	2. Summer Break Year One

Summer break (Year One)

**Week One**

Draco went home distracted and subdued, Harry hated him. That was the exact opposite of what he'd wanted.

Now he'd never smile at Draco. He'd never talk to Draco. At least not kindly, the way Draco had dreamed of.

No. Harry Potter wasn't going to be his friend. Ever.

Draco sat on his window seat and stared out the bleak rolling hills of home. It didn't make him feel safe like it usually did, and that bothered him.

He wished he could stop thinking about the raven haired wizard. But those green eyes still glared at him in his mind.

Narcissa noticed her son's sulkiness as soon as he came home. But she didn't know _why_ he was so unlike himself.

Maybe it had something to do with Hogwarts. After all he had just come back from his first year there. Maybe he didn't like school?

She should bring it up with Lucius soon.

**Week Two**

Draco was still haunted by Harry but he hid it a bit better.

Narcissa had told her husband about her worries and so far he hadn't brought it up with their son. That annoyed the witch but she knew better than to pester him about it.

So at dinner when Lucius was more focused on his son than his food she was pleased. Maybe now he would speak with Draco.

Lucius watched his son and began to worry.

Draco's expression was blank and he played with his food more than he ate it.

**Week Three**

Draco was in his room trying to do some reading. But a knock on his door pulled his attention from the book.

Lucius entered his son's room and then sat in a high backed chair by the fire place, across from his son.

For a minute they were both silent then Lucius spoke.

"How do you like Hogwarts so far?" He tone was calm and he didn't seem upset with his son, so Draco closed his book and shrugged.

"Hogwarts? I like it well enough I guess. The classes are easy and I have Crabbe and Goyle. Why do you ask?"

He was worried his Father had noticed how odd he was acting. But his father smiled proudly.

"Of course your classes are easy, you're a smart boy! I only ask because you seem a little….. unhappy." He turned to look his son in the eyes.

They were so like his own grey eyes. "Your mother thought it might be Hogwarts. She thought you didn't like it there."

Draco fidgeted in his seat and shook his head, "No, I like Hogwarts. But there's this-" He stopped him-self. He couldn't tell his father what was bothering him!

Could he?

"This …. What? What's the matter Draco?" Lucius was still calm and he wasn't demanding an answer, so maybe….

"There's this wizard…. You won't be very happy when you hear this Father, but I should tell you anyway."

Draco was now shifting nervously on his own chair, which truly caught his father's attention. He had taught his son how to hold himself a long time ago.

So why was his son now fidgeting about like an untrained, hyperactive child?

"You can tell me anything, Draco." Lucius prompted and was pleased to see his son still and meet his gaze.

"There's this wizard I just can't stop thinking about. Every time I close my eyes I can see him. It's like he's haunting me!"

There was a moment of silence then Lucius smiled.

Ah, that was not as bad as he'd feared. His son simply had a crush on some young wizard from school!

He smiled at his son, "Well tell me about him! I want to know what's so interesting about this young wizard that he can catch a Malfoy's eye."

Draco blushed, "Well to start with…. He had the most beautiful green eyes! I could stare at them all day!"

He gushed then blushed, his father began laughing, "What else?"

Draco began grinning like a fool as he described the raven haired wizard to his father, and Lucius couldn't help but smile at his son's expression.

"And this young wizard…. What does he think of you?" He asked his son.

Draco's smile vanished and he looked down at his hands.

"He hates me."

Lucius frowned, "What?"

Draco wrapped his arms around him-self as he reiterated, "He hates me."

Lucius was more than shocked, "Why?"

Draco shrugged, not looking at his father. "I'm not sure. As soon as I introduced myself he hated me!"

Lucius leaned forward trying to catch his son's attention.

"What is his name?"

Draco's father worried that the boy was from a rival family, or a mudblood. But his son's tentative response shocked him into silence.

"Harry Potter."

The silence was thicker than dragon scales and horribly awkward for both of pale haired Malfoy's.

"I know you hate him, but-" Draco started but his father cut him off.

"I don't hate him." His words shocked them both.

Lucius fumbled as he tried to come up with the right words. But he just could find a way to say how he felt about the boy who lived.

"I think we should call it a night Draco. It is late after all, and we still have three more weeks of break to talk."

Draco nodded and watched his father close the door behind him.

He sighed and changed into his night clothes. That had gone better than he thought it would.

**Week Four**

Lucius still hadn't spoken to Draco about Harry Potter. But he _had_ told his wife why their son had been so… out of sorts.

Narcissa had been amused to hear about her son's crush, but saddened that the boy was not even friends with him.

It was sad. How could anyone not love her sweet little boy?

He tried his best at everything. He would stop trying until he seceded at his task.

He was smart, and kind. Well as kind as his father allowed him to be.

Her husband seemed to think if Draco was too nice people would think him weak.

She wasn't sure how that could be true. But at least Draco did have some friends, even if they were the son's of Lucius' Death Eater chums.

Then again, she wondered why Harry Potter didn't like her son. Did he hate Draco because he was disgusted by Draco's interest in him?

Narcissa hoped her son either won the boys interest, or gave up on him.

She couldn't stand to see anyone hurt her son like that.

Intentionally or not.

**Week Five**

Draco stood restlessly at his window and frowned. He had a few idea about how to make harry like him, but none of them would work.

Harry didn't seem to care for power, or wealth, or brains. Those were the things Draco had at his disposal, but he couldn't use them.

Not with Harry.

So he would have to think of something else. What did the Weasleys and that Granger girl have in common?

They were all so nice. They smiled a lot. They weren't rich. And they weren't very popular. Basically they were the opposite of Draco, except that they were pretty smart too.

So all he had to do was be nice, smile and be unpopular?

That went against everything his father had taught him!

He was down to one option.

Prove to Harry that he was just as good a person and wizard as Harry.

If they were equals they-

What? What if they were? That would only make them competitors.

How would he do this?

There was no way he could get Harry's attention and respect.

His shoulders slumped and he sat heavily in a chair.

Maybe he should just give up.

**Week Six**

"Draco seems much happier this week doesn't he, dear?" Narcissa asked over breakfast.

Draco had already eaten and was outside on his broom. It was the first time he'd touched his broom since he got home.

Lucius looked over his shoulder, out the window. His son was weaving neatly through the air, practicing his control over the broom.

"Yes he does. I wonder if he has an idea about what to do with the Potter boy…." Narcissa looked at her husband carefully.

He looked happy to see his son happy, but he also looked a bit annoyed.

"What is it dear?" She asked covering his hand with her own.

He turned back to the table and smiled softly at his wife, "Well… I told him I didn't hate the Potter boy. But I didn't tell him… That I really should kill the boy if I ever see him."

The table was silent for a minute then Lucius stood, pulling his hand free.

"But for Draco's sake I will not kill him without reason. I do not want my son to hate me."

Narcissa smiled sadly, "I don't think he could ever hate you. Family is so important. More important than a crush. Draco knows that."

Lucius looked back to his, "Yes, well… I shall be careful all the same. I don't want to test that."

Outside Draco was racing Harry in his mind. He thought since it was all in his head he could win.

But even his imaginary Harry was too good for him. So it turned into a game of chase, in which Draco was left trying to catch up to Harry.

Every now and then Harry would grin at Draco over his shoulder making Draco's heart leap.

No he couldn't give up on Harry.

**A/N: Hey I know it's been awhile. I'm sorry! I've a lot of stuff going on, and haven't had time to work on this. Sorry. Anyway…. Here is a long chapter just for you my lovely readers!**


	3. Year Two

**A/N: Sorry for the wait! Been a bit busy. But here! A peace offering! I wrote this up just for you, my precious readers! Enjoy!**

Second Year

**One**

Draco had gone into Flurish and Blots to get his school books.

But when he saw Harry covered in soot looking nervous and uncomfortable under Lockhart's arm he got a bit jealous.

Which probably wasn't the best idea.

As soon as he got the chance he swooped down on the disheveled wizard with snark and a bad attitude.

The Weasley girl made it worse by standing up for Harry. Draco would have gotten viciously mean if his father hadn't done that for him.

Draco was afraid his father knew why he was so disgusted with the Weasley's. But he didn't say anything so Draco figured he was safe from that issue.

**Two**

Herbology.

Why on earth would he need to know this? Well… it might help in potions.

Draco didn't have to like it though.

His attitude changed when he saw that Harry was in his class.

He couldn't help watching him either.

When they pulled out the mandrakes he smiled. They looked a bit like babies.

He liked babies.

He stopped smiling when the mandrake bit him. He glanced around to see if anyone had noticed.

He hoped Harry hadn't seen.

**Three**

Draco snorted as Weasley's owl hit the table.

But he was even more amused to see it had delivered a _howler _to the ginger idiot.

Harry was trying not to smile, Draco could tell.

He smiled for him.

**Four**

When Lockhart uncovered the cage he was annoyed.

Pixies? That was what this man considered evil?

Fool.

Harry had a similar expression.

Once they were set lose he ran. Again.

Forgetting that if he had stayed Harry would notice him.

If only he hadn't ran.

Draco had a feeling that was going to become his motto.

**Five**

This would get Harry's attention! Now he was the Slytherin seeker.

Indeed this ploy worked.

Harry looked him in the eye without disgust. He even said his last name!

Draco was so proud of himself. He saw the awe on Harry's face as Harry looked over the brooms.

But then that muggle-born girl had to insult him.

It hurt. Why did no one think he could get something just because of talent?

He'd tried out for his place on the team just like everyone else had!

He spoke without thinking. Calling the girl a terrible name.

Just like that Harry looked at him with hatred again.

Once again he'd said and done the wrong thing.

**Six**

Draco was confused, and a little grossed out.

Why was harry and his friends standing in front of _that_?

But he quickly played along. If Harry _was_ the heir of Slytherin it would be a good idea to show his support right?

If he wasn't it didn't matter. So he snarked away.

But when he saw Harry would get into trouble he wasn't so sure anymore.

Harry killing anyone? Let alone a cat?

Doubtful. He hoped it wasn't Harry.

**Seven**

Transfiguration was… interesting.

Draco wondered briefly if he could turn himself into a water goblet. For Harry…. But dismissed it as too risky.

Weasley messed up the spell and Harry laughed, making Draco smile in response.

He had such a beautiful laugh. And that smile!

The muggle-born girl asked about the Chamber of Secrets and Draco turned in interest.

If Harry was the heir, he wanted to know all about the subject. He listened and tried to remember every detail.

He was smiling at the thought of Harry controlling some terrible monster, when Weasley turned to look at him.

**Eight**

First Quidditch game Harry would play against Draco…..

Draco was excited and nervous. He _had_ to prove himself to the wizard!

Now was his best chance.

He hovered just above Harry and teased him.

He would have started talking to him. _Really_ talking.

But a Bludger started to chase the wizard, fixated dangerously .

He would have been worried but Harry evaded it just fine.

Draco marveled at Harry's skill and even joked a bit hoping to make him smile, but Harry raced past Draco after the snitch.

Draco tried to turn it into a game of chase.

But the fixated Bludger had other idea and knocked Draco on his bum in front of everyone while Harry continued to chase the snitch.

Of course, he caught it. But the Bludger still attacked.

He would have done something but the muggle-born girl beat him to it.

He would have helped Harry with his broken arm, but Lockhart removed the bones.

All in all he was frustrated and his bum hurt.

He stayed in the hospital wing in order to keep an eye on Harry, but Madame Pomfrey made him leave.

He wasn't happy anymore.

**Nine**

"Can everybody see me?" Lockhart asked the room.

"Sadly." Draco muttered.

"Can you all hear me?" He asked still grinning like a dorky fool.

"Painfully." Draco snarked.

"Excellent!" He smiled even more. It looked painful.

"Wrong." Draco sighed, making Snape's lips twitch.

Draco really _really_ hated Lockhart. As did his favorite professor Snape.

He laughed as the moron landed on his back.

Then it was the student's turn.

Draco wanted to hug Snape when he paired him with Harry.

This would be fun!

He flung Harry across the room with a smirk.

Only to be tossed at Snape's disapproving feet.

Time to up the ante then!

A snake. Because, hey, he was in Slytherin.

Lockhart pissed it off.

But Harry _spoke_ to the serpent!

Draco shivered at the hissing language escaping Harry's mouth.

Harry speaking Paresel tongue.

Draco was adding that to his list of things he loved about Harry.

**Ten**

Draco found Crabbe and Goyle with that prefect Weasley and sighed.

They really were stupid.

But Goyle…. Were those?…. Yes. Goyle was wearing Harry's glasses…

He quickly took in the two of them.

Goyle was Harry and Crabbe was that Weasley Harry was so close to.

But… Oh! Polyjuce potion.

Well best play along. Draco was quite good at playing along.

He slammed to Weasley family and Dumbledor to see if he was right.

Their reactions were hilarious!

But he was shocked when Harry slammed himself to cover.

That was a good trick.

Draco kept playing along. He knew why they were there.

So he told them what he knew, even though he had already told Crabbe and Goyle.

He was helping Harry without blowing either of their covers.

Draco was about to start praising Harry's flight skills and over all cleverness when the Weasley's red hair began to show and Harry's scar came back.

Honestly Draco didn't notice. But they both ran.

Draco felt like he'd missed the mark… Again.

**Eleven**

Harry hugged the muggle-born girl, Hermione, tightly.

Draco tried to imagine what one of Harry's hugs would feel like….

Finding out exams were cancelled didn't seem as good as seeing Harry grinning and laughing.

Even if he wasn't grinning at _him_.

He would survive without it. It seemed like he would have to.

Draco was really starting to hate how much Harry ignored him.


End file.
